Message to Jill

December 8, 2008
Dear Jill,

I am writing this here because I rarely use it and no one reads anything here. Since you seem to think I'm an ogre who never considered your needs or interests, I think I should remind you of some things. I know your bipolar condition causes you problems with your thinking and perhaps your memory and I think you often confuse me with people you've known in the past.

You told me your son was in a wheelchair and needed an assisted living apartment in which to live. There is a very nice one right next to my doctor's office and it's 3 buildings from a hospital. I told you about the rehabilitation center in Houston that's about 50 miles away (not a large distance for someone from Houston), that does special research and rehabilitation for people with such problems and who could help with things that might make his life easier.

You told me that your other son gets into trouble often. I'm not sure what could be done about that other than counseling and guidance. It sounds like he's pretty well known by the police in that area and this might be a good place for him to start over if he's ready to try to make some changes, but make no mistake... the police in this area don't play games and Huntsville State Prison is not a pleasant place for people who are incarcerated. He would have to get his act together and act responsibly.

As far as your condition, there are very good centers for treatment and good psychiatrists and psychologists in the area. The place I went near the Woodlands after losing Diane is one of the best.

We discussed these things on the phone, but I don't know if your mind was in a state where you really heard me.

On your reaction to me sending you some small presents for your birthday, I would like to ask you a question. When you sent that gift to that woman for her cat, were you expecting something? I wasn't when I sent you the gifts. I wasn't when I sent Nigel the things I made for him. Some of us give simply because we want to do something nice for people. I understand what you've been through, but I'm honestly not that type of person. I could have used that money to buy a guitar, but I was more concerned with your needs than mine.

I know that the last time we talked, you tried to imply that there must be something bad or evil about me because of the other people you had been attracted to. Why you were attracted to me, I'm not really sure. I hate to disappoint you, but I'm nothing like those people, unless what you told me about them was a lie.

You've accused me of wanting the limelight, when that is about the farthest thing from the truth that you could say. What exposure I do need, I need to promote others. Look at people like Heidi Little and Marie' Digby. I just try to help others make good of their talents. I'm not on par with that kind of talent, but I do know enough to be able to know who is good and who deserves a chance. If I see someone who would be a good influence on others, I do what I can to help them.

You may never see this, but I'm writing it anyway. Perhaps when I'm gone, if you're still living, you'll be able to look back on this and understand the errors in your perception of me. Although I hope you do so that you can understand how much you were truly loved, I really don't know if you'll ever understand.

Love,

Cal

Christmas Without You

I know I should be happy
With my dreams all coming true
That is, but for the memory
Of what I had with you

I know I should be smiling
But I am feeling blue
Because of the sweet mem'ry
Of what I had with you

I thought it would be easy
To simply just forget
It's been so easy in the past
But this one just won't slip

I feel you oh, so strongly
And wonder how you are
I wonder how we ever let
Things get this so bizzare

How I've longed to see you
And hold you in my arms
To hear your dainty voice again
And see your smile so warm

I wonder how your health is
I wonder where you are
I wonder why I'm feeling you
Although you are so far

And so I sit here weeping
A smile upon my face
And wish you Merry Christmas
Hanging my head in disgrace

For somehow I have let you down
And failed to earn your trust
So all that I have left inside
Is feelings of disgust

Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

Without Your Love

Trying to escape your love
Is like trying to escape
From the gravity of a million suns
Denying my feelings to pursue happiness
Tears at the very fabric of my soul
Though you care not
You send shards of shattered glass into my heart
And there is no escape

Without your presence
I drift on a collision course
No power to steer
Away from eminent disaster
You have left me in the cold
Darkness of space
Drifting without sight

The thrusters will not fire
Programmed only for your touch
No one else can man the controls
Without your love
My fate is sealed
Without your tender voice
I find no comfort
The music in my heart is gone
My soul has died



Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

Impeachment Play videos and DVDs

Impeachment Play videos and DVDs

Do We Let the Insanity Continue?

Do We Let the Insanity Continue?

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ~ Albert Einstein

For the past 8 years, we entertained murderers and thieves at the top level and did nothing to arrest their behavior... or them. It went as high as the President of the United States who was involved in the Enron scandal. The president also did everything he could to take away our rights and liberty and in spite of the efforts of a very few individuals in office, no one did anything to stop his behavior or punish him for his crimes.

Now you all know that I believe in forgiveness, but when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over unchecked, that person is a habitual criminal. It's probably the same with anyone who has an addictive personality. They commit crimes and try to make people feel sorry for them so that they remain unpunished, or use fear tactics to scare you into thinking there's nothing you can do without suffering dire consequences. They can't help themselves. They're addicted to fear, violence, and hatred. Sometimes, you have to do something to keep these people not only from harming others, but from harming themselves.

Matthew 12:11 (New International Version)

He said to them, "If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out?

Why is it that these career criminals go unpunished and unchecked? Whose fault is it?


"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." ~ Edmund Burke


If good men do nothing, evil will prevail. You can go around shouting "Love, Peace, Forgiveness," but if you do nothing to stop the evil at the root of the cause, evil is going to continue to grow.

Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

1 Timothy 6:12 (New International Version)

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.


Evil is like a weed. If you allow it to continue to grow unchecked, it eventually chokes out the good plants. When evil gets in the highest office in the land, it tries to choke out ALL the good in the land. Why did God allow evil to take hold of our highest office? Was it because there was no good left in America? This may answer the question:

Matthew 13:26-29 (New International Version)

"The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?'

" 'An enemy did this,' he replied.
"The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?'

" 'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them.

That's the main problem I saw with the "Kick Them All Out" plan. We had a couple good men in office who were trying to stop the evil at the root of the cause and "kicking them all out" would have removed those good men from office. If people would have supported the congressmen who were trying to stop the evil from proceeding, the evil would have been stopped by now. What did the majority of people do? They did the same old thing they did in the past... they voted for the lesser of two evils... or the lesser of two weevils as someone put it so brilliantly in his blog. (Thanks, Will.) So, now we have someone who will do things a little differently, but will he be THAT DIFFERENT? Will he rescind the illegal Executive Orders and bills that go against the Constitution of the United States? That remains to be seen, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Will he stop the wars? In Iraq, maybe, but he's talking about wanting to go back into Afghanistan and continue the "Perpetual War." Same old story... different corporate backers.

Is it mean and hateful to put these people in a place where they can't harm themselves and others? No. Does it go against the idea of light and love? No. It IS light and love to protect them from themselves and from harming others. Believe me, the weeds have grown to full maturity and so have the good plants which were growing along with them. Now it's time to separate the wheat from the chaff. Put those who harm others and themselves in a place where they can no longer do either. Put them in a place where they can no longer harm the good and peaceful.

Now, let's talk about gray areas for a moment. A lot of people talk about gray areas because they are doing something that is unlawful and want to be able to get by with it. What is my solution? If a law is unfair or unjust, get the law rescinded. That way, we will all be free to do thing that we like as long as it doesn't harm another. There have been laws pushed by groups based on their own petty prejudices and personal weaknesses that they want to enforce on everyone. This is especially evident from religious groups. There are laws that were passed based on corporate greed. Oh, excuse me. I repeat myself. That has become a religion, too, hasn't it?

At the moment, it appears that we've gotten a breather from the Neocon Nazi movement, but is it just going to take on a different form and move in basically the same direction? If we see evidence of this, all who are good need to stand up and make our voices heard, no matter what the cost. It's the only way to preserve any sense of liberty and justice. We need to stand against religions passing laws to further their own cause. That goes not only for "Christians," whose right (Reich?) nearly caused another case of the Spanish Inquisition, going against what Jesus tried to teach us, but for any other religious group who wants to push their own agenda as well. Groups like this
and this have tried to force their ideas on others, in effect, making themselves out to be God and condemning others when Christ came not to condemn, but to free us of condemnation.

John 3:17 (New International Version)

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

(BTW... the Christian Right scares people with John 3:16, but conveniently leaves out John 3:17.)

I don't think you have to be of a particular faith to agree that things like murder, rape, spousal abuse, child abuse, and other forms of deliberate violence are wrong. All you have to have is a sense of humanity. Passing laws to enforce your beliefs on others when what they are doing causes no harm is wrong no matter how you look at it.

Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Is With Us All,

Cal-el

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

What is WORLDstock? Part 1

What IS Worldstock?