The Real Superman

 

Kittygory's Challenge

Choose a character from a favorite movie or book, one that you either love or hate. Take on that character's persona, and show us something about him/her that we wouldn't know from watching the movie or reading the book. What you show us, though, has to "fit" the character. Be sure to incorporate dialog in your "showing", since we tell a lot about ourselves by what comes out of our mouths.

The Real Superman

Flying high over Metropolis, a figure in a blue and red suit dashes across the sky.  He lands upon the image of an eagle, perched where he can watch over the inhabitants of the city. He takes a deep breath, then he sighs. He thinks to himself:

Most people seem to love me for my heroic deeds.  A few are jealous of my abilities and seek to defame and destroy me.  Everyone wants to be me or be like me, it seems, but if they only knew what it was like inside.

Some people seem to think that I do this for fame or glory. I'm only trying to help those who can't help themselves. I'm just trying to right the wrongs that have been forced upon people and keep them from destroying one another and themselves. If they only realized what they were doing. If they only saw where it would lead.

I know they have the ability to be much better than they are right now. If only they would take a look at the things that are really important. If only they'd learn how to treat one another with care and respect. If only they'd quit following their selfish lusts of the hearts which cause themselves and each other so much pain and grief. They've even elected leaders who will give them what they want and tell them what they want to hear without considering the true cost. They don't want to hear that, though.

I try to write at The Daily Planet to help them and inspire them, and sometimes it does some good, but most often what I write isn't taken to heart. It's just tossed in the trash like another daily newspaper. If only they knew the pain and grief I feel for them. If only...

My life is a lonely life, being the only survivor from Krypton since my cousin, Kara, died. Even my dog died, saving my life. I have very few friends I can trust and no one I can trust with my true identity. Jimmy is a good friend, but he doesn't know everything. Even the earth woman that I loved dearly enough to tell is off with another man. I think they may be raising my son, though. She evidently never told him...

At times like these, all I can do is fly back to the Fortress of Solitude and try to comfort my grief with images of those who loved me enough to send me here. It doesn't really help that much, though. I know they aren't real. They're all dead. They're just a reminder of who I am and what brought me here. Sometimes it gives me the strength to carry on. At least I have SOME chance of trying to help the people here with my advanced understanding given to me by my father. I even flew out to try to find the remains of my planet, but that was just a cold reminder of what had become of them. If only the people there had listened to my father. They sought more and more, even changing the weather to suit themselves. In doing so, they ultimately caused their own destruction.

If only they understood the lonliness and grief I feel. If only they knew what it was really like. If only they could see. Then, they wouldn't want to be me at all. They would understand what a desolate life it is being responsible for all the inhabitants of this planet. I only hope that they see before it's too late and they end up like Krypton.

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Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

To Jill

Love,

Cal

Christmas Pics for Jill

Dearest Jill,

Since you may not be able to get out to see any lights, I thought I would post this here for you so you could see some. I didn't have the date set on it, so it's a day fast. This was on Christmas night.

I got a digital camera for Christmas, so I thought I'd try it out on a walk and get some pictures of the Christmas lights. The camera said that you had to hold very still when taking pictures at night, so I thought I'd see how it did. It looks like I'm going to need a tripod for any night shooting.

Anyway... here I go, starting with my porch:




Next, I went out toward the street and took a picture of the front of my house:



Then I started walking down the street:






As you can see, some of the pictures came out pretty blurry. These were the only ones that came out halfway clear enough to bother showing you. I guess I'll start looking around for a tripod on Freecycle or something.

Love,

Cal

Excruciating Pain for Jill

Dearest Jill,

It's not necessary to inflict bodily harm to inflict pain. If you know the pressure points, you can cause excruciating pain without even leaving a bruise. If you must have pain, that's the way to go. I learned many of the pressure in Boy Scouts for first aid, more in martial arts, and even more detailed information when I was studying acupressure. It's even possible to make you pass out from the pain without causing you any harm. That's much better than split skin and bruises, especially if you're going to be teaching.

Love,

Cal

December 26th to Jill

Dearest Jill,

I hope you had a good Christmas. I hope you're feeling ok as well, though I think I felt some sad feelings from you. I know how difficult Christmas can be for you with your family.

I just stayed home and took it easy today. I did some thinking to see how I would honestly feel if we were together. As much as I want to tell myself that I wouldn't be jealous, I know that I would feel some jealousy. I would want you all to myself. I wouldn't stop you from doing what you wanted, but it would hurt. I wouldn't want anyone else but you, so I would remain faithful. It's just me. I'm sorry. It was the same with Diane, but with you, it would be more so because of our connection and because of the depth of love I feel for you. I would feel anger and resentment when I knew you were cheating, and it would take me a while to get over each time it happened.

Diane cheated, but not that often. I didn't have a huge problem overlooking it a few times in 15 years, but frequently cheating would present a problem. I think men feel emotional pain over a mate much more than women do. That, or women just ignore the pain and proceed anyway.

I haven't heard from Nigel. He hasn't written me back for awhile now. I still send him a letter now and then just to let him know I'm thinking about him. I know he's been through a lot, as have I, but I'm a little tougher than Nigel is. Hopefully, he'll get better and contact me again sometime. If not, well, I guess it's about the same as you.

Love,

Cal

Merry Christmas, Jill

Dearest Jill,

Just because my Christmas isn't so bright doesn't mean I can't wish you a Merry Christmas. I did get a digital camera from my mom, so I can at least take photos again. Merry Christmas to you and yours.



Love,

Cal

To Jill - Merry Christmas, Darling

Dearest Jill,

Merry Christmas, Darling.



Love,

Cal

A Christmas Eve Letter to Jill

Dearest Jill,

I was about to go to drift off to sleep and something came into my mind. I know Zen screwed you up talking about being tuned to the same frequency and BS like that, but if you thought it through, as I thought you would, you would know that the quartz crystals have to be matched in order to be tuned to the same frequency. The closer the match, the stronger the vibration. If the two crystals don't match exactly, they won't resonate properly and be able to create the link between, say, two CB or short wave radios.

When God creates a man and woman for each other, he gives them a special frequency so that they can recognize one another. If you think of the power of God as electrical harmonics, you will realize why we can communicate with God and with one another on such a frequency. For two to be able to resonate at the same frequency, the capacitors have to be matched pairs, as in a David Hafler amplifier, such as the one I possess. I put mine together from the kit and when one of the capacitors blew out, I had to replace both with a matched pair. We are bio-electric in nature, so it's not a wonder that we would have such abilities and matched frequencies for those we were intended. To be fully in tune with God and His will, it takes a matched pair. The matched pair allows for the extremely low distortion, thus purity of sound.

Jill, you are my matched crystal and capacitor. How else can you explain the depth of the resonance between us? Why else would we feel each other so strongly and deeply?

Since I don't know how much you know about electronics, I've kept this on a basic level so that you should be able to understand. I believe that you ARE smart enough to understand it and figure it out, though.

Love,

Cal

Christmas Eve-Eve Letter to Jill

Dearest Jill,

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I'm very sorry I haven't heard from you and I hope you're doing ok. I have no idea at what stage you are in or how your second surgery came out, but I hope it went well. Try to maintain hope.

Remember to have faith. Faith is very important to your healing:



Mark 10:46-52 (New International Version)

Blind Bartimaeus Receives His Sight
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the Son of Timaeus), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"

Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"

Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." So they called to the blind man, "Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you." Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.

"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see."

"Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

Mark 5:21-34 (New International Version)

A Dead Girl and a Sick Woman
When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. Then one of the synagogue rulers, named Jairus, came there. Seeing Jesus, he fell at his feet and pleaded earnestly with him, "My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live." So Jesus went with him.

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"

"You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "

But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."


"Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

The skin cancer spot in my arm has started to disappear. I finally remembered to pray for myself instead of just others. It seems to be a difficult thing for me to remember at times because I've been so concerned with trying to help others that I tend to forget about myself. My aunt who was supposed to have been dead by now is being sustained by prayer and is still alive at this point. She developed pneumonia, though, and they sent her home. We'll have to see what happens. She's quite old, though, and it is near her time.

I did some major housecleaning on Multiply last night. I blocked Suzy and a couple others and removed anyone on my list who I didn't know or of whom I was suspicious. I'll probably have even more housecleaning to do, but it should be easier at this point. I'm not going to put up with any agitators anymore. I've had it. I'm not accepting any new contacts unless I know them beforehand and trust them. I feel like I've given everyone more than ample opportunity to hear the truth. If they can't accept it, that's their problem. I don't mind someone disagreeing with me on something, but I'm not going to put up with blatant attacks and negativity on my page. I have to get down to some serious business.

I love you and I do hope you get better. I hope you are happy, wherever you are. In memory of Bill and in expression of my feelings about you, here you go:



Love,

Cal

Let There Be Peace On Earth

Dearest Jill,

I just posted the "Let There Be Peace On Earth" video and realized that Jill Jackson and Jill Jennings both are J.J. Maybe there's a peace connection there.

Anyway, here's the video for you:

To Jill

Dearest Jill,

How are you doing? Is your Christmas going well? I hope you're recovering well. It would be my Chrismas wish to know how you're doing, though I'm not expecting it. I'll probably go ahead and go to my sister's house for Christmas Eve, though it depends on how I'm feeling... or is it you feeling?

I was just thinking back on a movie I once saw called "Hackers." I imagine you are familiar with it. Angelina Jolie's character in that movie sort of reminds me of you. What reminded me of it was Leon going after Mila. I had thought about sending her the copy of Leon's information, but then I thought better of it. I didn't want to get you in trouble.

It's been a lonely holiday season not being able to talk to you. Mila and Suze05 have helped me through it, but things just aren't right. I can feel you so strongly. I hope you aren't being affected too stronly by my arrhythmia. I'm not having a lot of problem with it, but I had some a few days back and feel like I may be having it soon now, unless you are just going through something.

I'm uploading a video I made of Suze05 and I singing "Let There Be Peace On Earth." It should be finished uploading soon. I don't know if you'll see it or if you're even able to see it at this point, but it should be finished soon.

If I don't hear from you, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I love you and I always will love you.

Love,

Cal

Caring or Obsession?

Is there a difference between obsessing and truly caring about someone to whom you were close? If you had a brother, sister, daughter, niece, or nephew who had their life threatened or was dying of cancer, would you consider it obsessing to be worried about them and wonder how they are doing if you hadn't heard from them? If you were close enough to them to consider them being part of your family, isn't that pretty much the same?

What would you do to protect your child if he or she were in danger? Wouldn't you do all you could possibly do? What if your child had cancer? Would you just turn away from your child and not have any care for them because “they're going to die anyway?” What if your child had a serious mental condition and had problems making decisions on his or her own? Would you not tell them how you feel about their decisions in hopes that they might understand rather than just tell them what they want to hear?

Sometimes people confuse true love and compassion with obsession, especially if they don't really know all the details. Sometimes people who have mental problems think that others are obsessing over them just because they show concern and caring. Does this mean the person is really being obsessive? Of course not.

If I were accused of obsessing over everyone for whom I've shown caring and compassion, I'd have a long list of obsessions. Some people have no concept of concern for others or have so little self-esteem that they think anyone who really shows compassion and concern for them must be up to something or have ulterior motives. Some people who have been involved in the seedy side of life often have the same thoughts because that is what they are used to. Those of us, though, who have grown up in loving, caring families and have lived our lives around mostly honorable people, though, see things differently.

There have been times when my life was in danger and friends and family helped out. I didn't consider any of them obsessive. I didn't consider what they did for me something to get me to do something for them. It was done out of love.

Is true love so foreign to people these days that so many have no concept of it? What does that say of our society? What does that say of ourselves? Do we truly have to be suspicous of everyone who appears to care for us? Do we have to be suspicious of every thought, statement, or deed another has or does on our behalf?

There are some parasites who pray on others for their own selfish desires, to be sure. They seem to be more prevalent on the internet than in regular life, probably because they can hide behind their keyboards and not have to confront people face to face. There are those who feign illness to gain sympathy. There are those who feign feelings for others in an attempt to gain their trust with selfish motives at the core. Yes, this type of person DOES exist, but in reality, their number is small... much smaller than it would appear by watching people on the internet. If we live our lives fearing the few who are so insignificant that they don't even really matter in the scheme of things, how are we ever to find true, caring friendships or relationships?

Unfortunately, at the moment, there is little that can be done about internet predators, or “real life” predators until they actually harm someone. It's like calling the police about a threat on your life. They'll tell you, “Call us after they've done something to you.” Of course, by then it's too late, so you have to depend on friends and family to help out with the situation. If the warning from friends and family is stern enough, or even sometimes, if they see that others really care about you, it is often enough to keep them from taking action, or at least think real hard before they actually attempt to do anything.

Sometimes, we need to chill a little and set aside the fear and quit being so suspicious of every person in our lives who has shown us love and care. Have you given that person reason to be concerned? Has the person who showed you love and care really tried to harm you in any way? Have they stalked you in person? Do they follow you everywhere you go on the internet and try to make your life a living hell? If not, then perhaps you're being a little too suspicious.

Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

Letter to Jill

Dear Jill,

I was looking at the most recent picture I had of you. I'm glad you gained some weight before your surgery. Hopefully, that will see you through.

You may have changed your name, but that doesn't change who you are, nor does it change the connection we have. It's been difficult for me, really, feeling the experiences and not knowing what they are. I pray for you, but don't know really exactly what I'm praying for. Hopefully, it's enough to be praying for your healing.

Woodstock is going ok. The musicians are talking with their agents and working out the details and some of them are interested in WORLDstock, too. I might let the head of Musicians and Fine Artists for World Peace handle the details since he's experienced at it and is interested as well.

The LiveShows are going well and I met that woman who was showing her collar on YouTube on LiveVideo and we are friends now. She had problems with her ex posting sex videos of her as well, so she certainly understands what you went through with that. Lorielle's show has been going well and she's been offered another part, so she's moving up well. I got invited onto an international peace LiveShow, I think I mentioned that in another message. It went well, too.

I'm not looking for stardom. I mainly like to promote others who I think are good people and do well. It's just nice to bring smiles to people's faces and make them laugh. That brings some pleasure to my otherwise dull existence.

I'm not sure if I'm going to my sister's house for Christmas Eve or not. I just haven't been in much of a Christmas spirit not knowing what's going on with you. I miss you very much.

Love,

Cal

Diane



Today is a bit of a sad day for me. Seven years ago today, Diane passed away. I had hoped she would make it to Christmas, but she didn't. I had brought Christmas to her a little early just in case. She was at a hospice center in Houston. It was a very nice, very expensive center. She had a private room with a beautiful view. We had put a small Christmas tree in the room for her.

I had gone home the previous night to feed the dogs and take care of a few things around the house since she seemed to be doing relatively well. I got a call from her on the morning of the 19th and she seemed to be in good spirits. She asked for a few things and I told her I would find them and bring them to her.

Just as I had found the things she asked for and was headed out to the car, I got a phone call from her dad, telling me that she had passed away. It was a long drive from Texas City to the hospice center where she was. It took me about an hour to get there and find parking. When I got there, her family was upset that it took me so long. I wasn't doing too well myself at that time and was having to use a motorized cart to get around, but they didn't consider that. I guess they were just upset from Diane's passing.

I went to her room and saw her and gave her cold lips a kiss goodbye. It was a pretty difficult thing to experience, especially after losing my 5 closest friends and my dog, Samanta, earlier that year.

If I don't seem especially joyous around Christmas, perhaps this will help you understand why. In addition to Diane's death, not knowing Jill's condition has compounded that grief. Having gone through it, being disabled and spending every single day of Diane's demise with her, it's harder not knowing how Jill is doing. I know what to expect. I know the stages. I know the difficulty of the treatments and the stretching of the esophagus. I've been though it. Not being able to help and comfort makes things pretty unbearable for me. Anyway, this is about Diane, not Jill, but I thought you should know in case I seem unusually harsh or bitter some days. Back to Diane.

Diane and I had some good times over the years. We were about as different as night and day in many ways, which made the first five years pretty difficult. Once we got all our difficulties worked out and she decided she wanted to get married, though, things were pretty nice, except for her occasional flings. They didn't happen often, though, so it was bearable.

Here is a picture from one of those good times. I had a better one, but this one seems to be the only one that survives. Diane didn't have her head positioned right and I don't have the expression on my face that I had in the other one when we were ready, but here it is anyway:



Merry Christmas

Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Is With Us All,

Cal-el

Letter to Jill About Teri

Teri got pissed that I removed her as a contact, so I blocked her. I may lose some writing friends over it, but I really don't care. After her hypocritical remarks on Will's blog, I really didn't want to have any more to do with her anyway. I can't stand someone who presents themselves as a "good little preacher's daughter" who condems others for being unfaithful to their husbands at the same time that she's hot chatting with 10 different men and making plans to sleep with them. People like her give Christians a bad name. At least Leon has an excuse for his ignorant rants, missing part of his brain.

I've been keeping myself pretty busy with the Woodstock 40th Anniversary committee and have been doing some LiveShows for world peace. I felt like my time was wasted on the international show yesterday because the hostess was driving in her car with her laptop and not interacting with the viewers. I guess some of the people there must be gaga over the hostess or something and they find it fascinating to watch her drive down the freeway listening to the radio where all you can see is her and the sky. Maybe another day.

I just said to heck with everything last night and went to bed at 10:30pm. I woke up this morning at 6am. That's probably the most sleep and at the most regular hours as I've had in months.

I hope you are doing well and are getting better.

Love,

Cal

Black Guardian Angels

Dearest Jill,

I never really thought about it before today, but I may know the source of one of your black female angels. There was a young, beautiful, perhaps slightly overweight black woman at one of the nursing homes at which I used to play who I used to talk to. I had played one of my instruments and told her I'd come back and play the other one for her because she wanted to hear it. I missed one week because I was busy and the next week when I brought the other instrument, she had passed away. I'm just curious as to what your angels look like.

Love,

Cal

Letter on December 18th to Jill

Dearest Jill,

Please remember that I still wear the ring I wore when I was with Diane for you. I miss you so very much. I still feel you so strongly. Not knowing what is causing these feelings is so difficult. It saps me of my strength.

I really don't have anyone to tell it to, but I was asked on a live international peace show on LiveVideo and was received very well. They like my zany humor all over the world, it seems. They also like the message I bring to them of loving instead of hating and killing and of treating women with respect instead of abusing them and showing them disrespect. I've connected with other composers and musicians and they really loved "Jill's Song," which I got to air and give you a special message that you did not get to hear. Now, I'm laughing on the outside as I'm crying on the inside. I've learned to act well enough to cover it for the most part, but occasionally, someone will notice the sadness in my eyes and ask me why in a PM on the show.

I'll be here all alone until after Christmas and without you in my life, I can feel no joy. I can still do what I need to do and act happy about it, but inside, my heart is bleeding for you. Must you be so cruel? Must you deny me at every turn? Must you withold your feelings for me until death? Is that fair to you? Is that really fair to me?

I know how strongly we are bound. I feel it every second I'm awake. I know you must think of me sometimes because, occasionally, I can feel the love. I just wonder if you can feel the love I send to you so very often?

If you'll stop and think about it, you will see that I was only upset and anxious when you told me your life was in danger. We got to spend a little real time on the phone when I wasn't so worried. You told me that you had gotten away from the danger and I was able to relax and be as it would be if you were with me. It worried me when he found where you were and sent the messenger, then you cut off contact, but I'm doing my best not to let it worry me now. I know that you are in God's hands and will work through whatever problems are besetting you. Being upset and worried about it only makes you feel worse through the link and I don't want you to feel anything you don't have to as you fight this cancer and the physical problems related to the surgeries. I do continue to pray for you throughout the day and when I go to bed. Please hang in there and don't give up hope.

I wish I could share with you all the things with which I am involved. The tide is changing and in spite of the things that are to come, I can see that there is a new day, a new life, beyond. I am seeing that the things I have been working for are prevailing. I wanted you to be by my side as I rose up that you might share these wonderful things with me. The transition is as glorious and exciting as the final result will be.

I'm doing what I can to occupy my time. I'm trying to make as many people laugh as possible and help as many people through their problems as I possibly can. Even many who have turned away have come back because they see that I am who I say I am and not some phony who just pretends like most of the people on the internet. That is comforting and helps me get through the days, but I still wonder how you are doing and what you are going through at this stage. I had an EKG the other day because I thought that it might really be my heart this time. Everything else in my life seemed to be going well. When I found that my heart was fine, it brought deep concern in my heart for you and I spent the day fasting and praying for you. I know that God does perform miracles through me because many have been healed of cancer and things even worse through my prayers. The energy that flows through me is so strong sometimes that it feels like my hair is standing on end. I sometimes call it "energy itch," though itch isn't really a descriptive word for it. Scratching does seem to help sometimes, though.

Be sweet and think of all the beautiful things that are going to happen in the world and how beautiful it will be when the changes take place. It is something that's going to be worth staying alive to see. Think of every beautiful thing you've ever seen or experienced and think of that being multiplied tenfold. Think of all the beauty that you could be helping to bring to the world through your kindness to others. Think of how it will be when everyone is helpoing one another and cooperating with one another instead of hoarding and taking from others. It's already happening and it will be something to behold.

Love,

Cal

Through the Eyes Of a Child

Dear Jill,

This might give you some idea of what it is that attracts me to you so much. Never before did I find someone who exceeded Diane in every aspect.

It looks like my insurance isn't going to pay for the removal of my skin cancer, so I guess I'll have to do it myself. I could just let it keep reducing in size, but it might be better for me to remove it before it has more of a chance to spread.

I thought I was having some difficulty with my heart, so I went in for another EKG, but they said my heart was fine. It only leaves me with knowing that you must be going through something very difficult and painful. Since I don't see things visually the way you do, it leaves me guessing at what might be causing it. It honestly makes things much more difficult for me not knowing what's going on. If I know what it is, I can deal with it, but guessing just makes my imagination run wild, especially knowing what Diane went through.

It was all new to me when Diane went through it and I was unprepared for what I would see and experience. Now I know the things that occur and can handle them much better. I do hope you will eventually let me know how you're doing. I am continually praying for you and sending you as much energy as I can bear. It's left me in the bed most of the last several days, but I know that you can get through this. They caught yours earlier than they did Diane's.

Here's the story...

Love,

Cal

Through the Eyes of a Child

When I was about 5, I had a bamboo flute. I had almost forgotten about it. As I was looking at something totally unrelated to music, the thought of it popped into my mind.


I used to take the flute outside and play it all the time as I walked with the little girl next door hunting for caterpillars spinning their cocoons about to hatch into butterflies,



looking for Horny Toads,



looking for buttercups with which we could turn each others' noses yellow,



and all the other things a couple of young, adventurous children who were old in spirit might living right on Buffalo Bayou before the concrete might do. Sometimes I would play the flute as she combed my hair, dipping the comb in water each time before she ran the comb through my hair. Sometimes we would just walk along the edge of the bayou, hand in hand, talking. Sometimes, we'd just lay in the grass and look for shapes in the clouds.



These things seemed to bring us great pleasure in life. As I think on it, they brought me much greater pleasure than electronics and vehicles. We shared a love with one another that was both caring and carefree. Of course, when we were about 8, things started changing and I lost my flute. My mom finding it in a drawer with a roach in it, promptly threw it in the trash.


(Diane shortly before finding out she had cancer)

I didn't regain such a relationship until I met Diane, who, in spite of her intelligence and often critical nature, could see things with me through the eyes of a child. She was beautiful when we met and never seemed any less beautiful to me as she aged, in spite of the changes to her body. It took a few years of living together and working out our differences before we got there, but we got there and it was wonderful.

It takes more than just beauty, intelligence, and sexuality to stimulate me. It takes spiritual insight and the ability to see things through the eyes of a child. So many have forgotten how to do that these days. It seems like everyone is just after quick, thoughtless, self-gratification. Is there any wonder that so few truly know the meaning of love anymore?

Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Is With Us All,

Cal-el

Another Letter to Jill

Dear Jill,

It would take me the rest of my life to tell you how I feel about you and to learn all I want to know about you and share all the things I want to share with you. I hope you are recovering well from your cancer surgery and have gotten into a better place. It worried me a little that you wanted to go back to where you lived, but I do understand the feeling of wanting to be in a familiar place when you're that ill.

I hope you get through everything ok and I hope that I one day hear how you are doing. I wish you realized how big a strain on my heart knowing what you're going through and not knowing how you're doing is. If I didn't really love you, it wouldn't matter to me much.

I wish I had the ability to see things the way you can. All I can do is feel the sensations for the most part. I only see when it's really necessary, like with Bill and a few other instances, so sometimes the feelings are confusing to me. It was much easier for me when I knew what was happening.

One more thing before I go. Please quit breaking into my computer and deleting things. You probably didn't mean to, but you've messed up some of the programs and drivers I need to do my work. If you want my Multiply password again so you can see what's going on, please just ask.

Love,

Cal

P.S. I don't want to have to press charges, but if I have to, I will. If it's not you, I apologize, but the only thing missing was your pictures.

Message to Jill

December 8, 2008
Dear Jill,

I am writing this here because I rarely use it and no one reads anything here. Since you seem to think I'm an ogre who never considered your needs or interests, I think I should remind you of some things. I know your bipolar condition causes you problems with your thinking and perhaps your memory and I think you often confuse me with people you've known in the past.

You told me your son was in a wheelchair and needed an assisted living apartment in which to live. There is a very nice one right next to my doctor's office and it's 3 buildings from a hospital. I told you about the rehabilitation center in Houston that's about 50 miles away (not a large distance for someone from Houston), that does special research and rehabilitation for people with such problems and who could help with things that might make his life easier.

You told me that your other son gets into trouble often. I'm not sure what could be done about that other than counseling and guidance. It sounds like he's pretty well known by the police in that area and this might be a good place for him to start over if he's ready to try to make some changes, but make no mistake... the police in this area don't play games and Huntsville State Prison is not a pleasant place for people who are incarcerated. He would have to get his act together and act responsibly.

As far as your condition, there are very good centers for treatment and good psychiatrists and psychologists in the area. The place I went near the Woodlands after losing Diane is one of the best.

We discussed these things on the phone, but I don't know if your mind was in a state where you really heard me.

On your reaction to me sending you some small presents for your birthday, I would like to ask you a question. When you sent that gift to that woman for her cat, were you expecting something? I wasn't when I sent you the gifts. I wasn't when I sent Nigel the things I made for him. Some of us give simply because we want to do something nice for people. I understand what you've been through, but I'm honestly not that type of person. I could have used that money to buy a guitar, but I was more concerned with your needs than mine.

I know that the last time we talked, you tried to imply that there must be something bad or evil about me because of the other people you had been attracted to. Why you were attracted to me, I'm not really sure. I hate to disappoint you, but I'm nothing like those people, unless what you told me about them was a lie.

You've accused me of wanting the limelight, when that is about the farthest thing from the truth that you could say. What exposure I do need, I need to promote others. Look at people like Heidi Little and Marie' Digby. I just try to help others make good of their talents. I'm not on par with that kind of talent, but I do know enough to be able to know who is good and who deserves a chance. If I see someone who would be a good influence on others, I do what I can to help them.

You may never see this, but I'm writing it anyway. Perhaps when I'm gone, if you're still living, you'll be able to look back on this and understand the errors in your perception of me. Although I hope you do so that you can understand how much you were truly loved, I really don't know if you'll ever understand.

Love,

Cal

Christmas Without You

I know I should be happy
With my dreams all coming true
That is, but for the memory
Of what I had with you

I know I should be smiling
But I am feeling blue
Because of the sweet mem'ry
Of what I had with you

I thought it would be easy
To simply just forget
It's been so easy in the past
But this one just won't slip

I feel you oh, so strongly
And wonder how you are
I wonder how we ever let
Things get this so bizzare

How I've longed to see you
And hold you in my arms
To hear your dainty voice again
And see your smile so warm

I wonder how your health is
I wonder where you are
I wonder why I'm feeling you
Although you are so far

And so I sit here weeping
A smile upon my face
And wish you Merry Christmas
Hanging my head in disgrace

For somehow I have let you down
And failed to earn your trust
So all that I have left inside
Is feelings of disgust

Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

Without Your Love

Trying to escape your love
Is like trying to escape
From the gravity of a million suns
Denying my feelings to pursue happiness
Tears at the very fabric of my soul
Though you care not
You send shards of shattered glass into my heart
And there is no escape

Without your presence
I drift on a collision course
No power to steer
Away from eminent disaster
You have left me in the cold
Darkness of space
Drifting without sight

The thrusters will not fire
Programmed only for your touch
No one else can man the controls
Without your love
My fate is sealed
Without your tender voice
I find no comfort
The music in my heart is gone
My soul has died



Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

Impeachment Play videos and DVDs

Impeachment Play videos and DVDs

Do We Let the Insanity Continue?

Do We Let the Insanity Continue?

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ~ Albert Einstein

For the past 8 years, we entertained murderers and thieves at the top level and did nothing to arrest their behavior... or them. It went as high as the President of the United States who was involved in the Enron scandal. The president also did everything he could to take away our rights and liberty and in spite of the efforts of a very few individuals in office, no one did anything to stop his behavior or punish him for his crimes.

Now you all know that I believe in forgiveness, but when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over unchecked, that person is a habitual criminal. It's probably the same with anyone who has an addictive personality. They commit crimes and try to make people feel sorry for them so that they remain unpunished, or use fear tactics to scare you into thinking there's nothing you can do without suffering dire consequences. They can't help themselves. They're addicted to fear, violence, and hatred. Sometimes, you have to do something to keep these people not only from harming others, but from harming themselves.

Matthew 12:11 (New International Version)

He said to them, "If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out?

Why is it that these career criminals go unpunished and unchecked? Whose fault is it?


"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." ~ Edmund Burke


If good men do nothing, evil will prevail. You can go around shouting "Love, Peace, Forgiveness," but if you do nothing to stop the evil at the root of the cause, evil is going to continue to grow.

Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

1 Timothy 6:12 (New International Version)

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.


Evil is like a weed. If you allow it to continue to grow unchecked, it eventually chokes out the good plants. When evil gets in the highest office in the land, it tries to choke out ALL the good in the land. Why did God allow evil to take hold of our highest office? Was it because there was no good left in America? This may answer the question:

Matthew 13:26-29 (New International Version)

"The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?'

" 'An enemy did this,' he replied.
"The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?'

" 'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them.

That's the main problem I saw with the "Kick Them All Out" plan. We had a couple good men in office who were trying to stop the evil at the root of the cause and "kicking them all out" would have removed those good men from office. If people would have supported the congressmen who were trying to stop the evil from proceeding, the evil would have been stopped by now. What did the majority of people do? They did the same old thing they did in the past... they voted for the lesser of two evils... or the lesser of two weevils as someone put it so brilliantly in his blog. (Thanks, Will.) So, now we have someone who will do things a little differently, but will he be THAT DIFFERENT? Will he rescind the illegal Executive Orders and bills that go against the Constitution of the United States? That remains to be seen, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Will he stop the wars? In Iraq, maybe, but he's talking about wanting to go back into Afghanistan and continue the "Perpetual War." Same old story... different corporate backers.

Is it mean and hateful to put these people in a place where they can't harm themselves and others? No. Does it go against the idea of light and love? No. It IS light and love to protect them from themselves and from harming others. Believe me, the weeds have grown to full maturity and so have the good plants which were growing along with them. Now it's time to separate the wheat from the chaff. Put those who harm others and themselves in a place where they can no longer do either. Put them in a place where they can no longer harm the good and peaceful.

Now, let's talk about gray areas for a moment. A lot of people talk about gray areas because they are doing something that is unlawful and want to be able to get by with it. What is my solution? If a law is unfair or unjust, get the law rescinded. That way, we will all be free to do thing that we like as long as it doesn't harm another. There have been laws pushed by groups based on their own petty prejudices and personal weaknesses that they want to enforce on everyone. This is especially evident from religious groups. There are laws that were passed based on corporate greed. Oh, excuse me. I repeat myself. That has become a religion, too, hasn't it?

At the moment, it appears that we've gotten a breather from the Neocon Nazi movement, but is it just going to take on a different form and move in basically the same direction? If we see evidence of this, all who are good need to stand up and make our voices heard, no matter what the cost. It's the only way to preserve any sense of liberty and justice. We need to stand against religions passing laws to further their own cause. That goes not only for "Christians," whose right (Reich?) nearly caused another case of the Spanish Inquisition, going against what Jesus tried to teach us, but for any other religious group who wants to push their own agenda as well. Groups like this
and this have tried to force their ideas on others, in effect, making themselves out to be God and condemning others when Christ came not to condemn, but to free us of condemnation.

John 3:17 (New International Version)

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

(BTW... the Christian Right scares people with John 3:16, but conveniently leaves out John 3:17.)

I don't think you have to be of a particular faith to agree that things like murder, rape, spousal abuse, child abuse, and other forms of deliberate violence are wrong. All you have to have is a sense of humanity. Passing laws to enforce your beliefs on others when what they are doing causes no harm is wrong no matter how you look at it.

Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Is With Us All,

Cal-el

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

What is WORLDstock? Part 1

What IS Worldstock?

TUMBLING PILLARS OF WALL STREET

What has happened was destined to happen. There was no way for it not to happen. The financial disaster came as no surprise to Wall Street. Nor did it come out of the blue. And it was not without a good reason for its happening that it finally happened. But the long-looming crisis seems worse than expected. Three of the five supporting pillars of Wall Street have tumbled down. The 150-year-old Lehman Brothers Bank survived the Civil War and the Great Depression to share the fate of other financial monsters in the whirl storm of 2008.

It is impossible to live indefinitely on borrowed money. But the aggregate debt of the federal and municipal governments, the banks and the business corporations topped threefold the gross domestic product of the United States of America when that country was entering the year 2007. That sounds worse than the Great Depression.

The public debt of the United States of America has skyrocketed from 5.5 trillion to 9.3 trillion dollars in the years of the Bush-Cheney Administration. The corporate debt has, in the meantime, grown twofold – to come close to an unimaginable 14 trillion dollars. The frenetic efforts by the nearly desperate Bush Administration cannot turn the tide.

Any sober-minded person cannot help wondering what kept the powers-that-be from looking in the right direction, why the United States has been driven to this financially catastrophic condition. With dark clouds gathering in the sky over the American economy, George W. Bush revealed to the masses last January what he was planning to do — not for a return to the normal state of affairs, mind you, but for the accelerated advance of the national economy! Far from down-to-earth, his plan for action highlighted nothing but his favorite idea of corporate tax reductions. Nine months into the year, that plan for action rests clean forgotten by George W. Bush and the Republican Party’s next-in-line John McCain.

But the Republican Administration seems to have no intention of discarding the political manifesto which caused the economic problems of today’s America. It is planning to allocate more than half a trillion dollars, i.e. 74 percent more than it did back in 2001, to the PentagonWorld War II has the military received such a big sum of money from the federal budget. The military spending of the United States tops the sum total of the military budgets of all other nations taken together. in its draft of next year’s federal budget. Not once since the end of

What the next President of the United States stands to inherit from the incumbent compares unfavorably with what George W. Bush inherited from his predecessor in January, 2001. It took the Bush Administration a year to squander the inherited surplus budget and run into debt. Budget deficit had been growing, year in and year out, before becoming critically big on the eve of the current financial tempest.

Bloated military budgets provide an explanation for the negative balance between budget revenues and budget spending. Military spending has grown 62 percent under the Bush Administration. Washington has resumed the arms race of the cold war period. And I have to point out that it resumed the arms race before the 9/11 attacks on New York and Washington which would be played up under the banner of antiterrorist action but in the best interests of the military-industrial complex, whose intrinsic dangers were explained to the Americans by the great Dwight Eisenhower.

The hopelessly lost war in Iraq has, according to experts’ counts, will devour three trillion dollars. A Nobel Prize winner, Joseph Stiglitz, says in his new book that the recklessly planned war in Iraq has definitely weakened the U.S. economy. It is impossible to spend three trillion dollars on a sure-to-be-lost war, Stiglitz says, and not to be called to account at home base.

What is happening to the American economy measures up to Stiglitz’s words about payment at home base. Neither American policy-makers nor participants in the presidential race are ready to say that out loud. But sooner or later, they will have to admit that their ambitious but short-sighted leaders have placed an unbearable burden on the shoulders of America.

Catching as it was, belief in the omnipotence of America has ended. Whatever losses it inflicts, the tempest will eventually calm down, but America will never again be what it used to be till September, 2008. Powerful as it is, that country is incapable of dominating the world.

<http://www.ruvr.ru/main.php?lng=eng&q=32989&cid=170&p=26.09.2008>

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Personally, I think our problems have stemmed from the idea that we should be the "Policemen of the world." I have to agree with Martin Luther King Jr. on this one.

Whether we like it or not, we did not write the laws in other countries. We have not business dictating to other countries that they have to follow OUR laws. They have different cultures, all older than ours. They have different challenges than we have. They have different lifestyles than we have.

Last time I checked, I didn't see anywhere in the Bible where God came down and appointed America to force the world into conforming to Christianity at the threat of death. Jesus didn't say take up your sword and follow me. He said, "And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me." (Matthew 10:38) He also said, "Put your sword back in its place," Jesus said to him, "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword." (Matthew 26:52)

Our "Christian President" and his administration have made it their "appointed duty" to invade other countries and force them to conform to his way of life. Bush seems to feel that he was appointed by God to do so. So, who is this God that Bush is listening to? Perhaps we can get a clue from Sarah Palin. It seems that her God appointed her to build the Alaskan Pipeline.



It seems that she thinks this war in Iraq was for God.



So, just who is this God they worship? It's certainly not the same Jesus I read about in the Bible.

Now, I know that there are a lot of Mexicans who are named Jesus. Perhaps that's what confused Bush? Maybe one of them told Bush his name was Jesus and Bush thought he was listening to Christ? Maybe someone like Jesus Sylvia-Herzog?


It seems to me that this picture is representative of the God they're following:




Perhaps their God is a rich Texas oil man? Someone like T. Boone Pickens, Jr?



Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Is With Us All,


Cal-el

Obama and McCain to Run On Same Ticket

CCN (Crazy Cal News) – Washington

Today, a press conference was call to announce that Barack Obama and John McCain were joining forces and would be running mates in the 2008 elections.

After working together for the conference at Saddleback Church, in Lake Forest, California, on Aug. 16 at the behest of Reverend Rick Warren, the two candidates started having private meetings. Since then, the two have been getting closer and closer on the issues and have become very good friends, spending each night in the Hotel de Bilderberg in Oosterbeek near Arnhem hotel room to discuss the issues. When they both realized that they were both working to promote the New World Order, they kissed and made up, sacrificed a young child to Molech, and spent the rest of the night tying each other up and whipping each other.

The two agreed that there should be only one party, so the Democratic and Republican parties are being combined. They agreed on the name Republicrat since Dempublican was too hard for George W. Bush to pronounce. They came to an agreement about public housing, deciding that the FEMA Concentration Camps could be used to house the poor. They are also working on many other issues to combine the two major parties.

When asked how they decided who would be President and who would be Vice President, Obama said, "That was decided in the hotel room."

Could Music and Art Help Change the World?

Could Music and Art Help Change the World?

Jun 24, '08 2:34 PM by Cal for everyone

Music can make people laugh and cry. Music can inspire and provoke. Music has even been used in the military for centuries to spur people on into battle. Remember the battle of Jericho?

Lately, funding for education in music and the arts has been cut severely. If it's not something "left brained," the government and people don't want to fund it. It's not productive, they say... yet, they use it to pass subliminal messages and improve your mood when you're shopping. Aren't musicians and artists worth compensation for the things they provide not only to business, but to the joy in our daily lives?

People seem to put far too little value in music and art these days. They don't seem to understand the relevance to the human spirit that they have... though they do use both music and art if they think it'll help 'em make a buck when they're pitching something to you on television in a commercial. Music became all but dead when Rap hit... especially "Gangsta Rap." It was mostly bad, abusive writing set to a beat. Very little melody involved.

If music and art were used for good, could it change the world? It seemed to help make a change in the attitudes toward Viet Nam War with Woodstock. Since the whole world seems to be at war now, wouldn't a WORLDstock be appropriate? I like to think so, but I have to admit to being a little attached to this issue. After all:

Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

Hide and Seek

There once was a beautiful princess who was adored by many. She lived in a castle in the mountains near a cliff where she liked to bathe in the full moon. She had many suitors with whom she liked to play “Hide and Seek.” Her suitors claimed to be princely and would storm the gates, and feed the two dragons, then they would be lured by her into her dungeon which contained many labyrinths. She knew the dungeon very well and knew just where to hide as each one of them was lured to their death by starvation. Oh, she'd toy with them from time to time and let them have what they thought they wanted, but she only did so to lure them deeper into the labyrinth-like dungeon. One by one they would fall into her trap, thinking they had overpowered her and could do with her as they pleased. She gathered them and gathered them until she had them all in one place. It was nothing but a game to her.

One day she lured a princely knight toward her by calling for help. Like the rest, he followed after her to rescue her. She retreated into her city, but he stormed the gates. She ran past the dragons, but instead of just feeding them, he slew them. She then retreated into her castle.
She wanted him to come into the castle so she could lure him into the dungeon and play hide and seek with him, too, but this knight was different. This knight just stood there, laid out a feast, and waited for her to come to him. She stared from her window, amazed and wondering.

“Aren't you going to come over the moat and enter the castle,” she asked?

“No, I'm not here to play games. If you want anything from me, you're going to have to come to me. I have a fine feast here, but you're going to have to take some initiative, get off your velvet throne, and come get it. I've stormed the gates and I've slain the dragons. Now it's your turn to do something,” he replied.”

“You arrogant b*st*rd! Who do you think you are?” she exclaimed.

“I'm a son of the King, and you'll get nowhere speaking to me in that manner,” he replied.
“Come up here this instant,” she exclaimed.

“I'm going nowhere. None of your games of hide and seek for me, thank you. When you're ready, I'll be here. Until then, I'll just sit here and smell this delicious food I've prepared. Look at these beautiful ears of corn I've laid out.”

He sat there, singing sweet love songs as he passed the time waiting for her to make up her mind. Soon, the knight heard a creak at the door. The princess was peeking at him through it.
“Well, what are you waiting for?,” he asked. “The food is going to get cold if you don't come along. That's your choice, though. Do as you will.”

Before long, they were sitting together and having a marvelous feast. They exchanged volleys of romantic phrases as they ate, then retired into her bed chamber for an unforgettable night of passion. Her orgasmic thrill could be heard for miles as the sound echoed through the hills. The sound startled even the prince as it had come so unexpectedly...

Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

Brigitta and Friends - Only look if you really really want to know

Brigitta and Friends - Only look if you really really want to know

Cellar of the Soul

Cellar of the Soul - Repost with Music Added

Feb 4, '08 8:07 PM for everyone

Cellar of the Soul

Dingy, dusty cellar of the soul
Why hast thou neglected it so?
Totally surrounded by darkness
At least some light remains
Reach inward once again
And find the source of that light
Lest darkness overtake what remains
Fear not the darkness, for it is weak
Let your light brightly shine for all to see
For then you'll see the darkness has no choice but to flee

Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings

Tags: poem, cellar, of, the, soul, cal, jennings, cal-el

True Beauty

True Beauty

True beauty lies not in skin
But in the heart.
The exterior shall fade with time
Though heart remains.
Very few are blessed with both
Special to God.
Seek not the exterior
It may be false.
Rather the interior,
Truthful heart seek.

Copyright © 2008 Cal Jennings