Through the Eyes Of a Child

Dear Jill,

This might give you some idea of what it is that attracts me to you so much. Never before did I find someone who exceeded Diane in every aspect.

It looks like my insurance isn't going to pay for the removal of my skin cancer, so I guess I'll have to do it myself. I could just let it keep reducing in size, but it might be better for me to remove it before it has more of a chance to spread.

I thought I was having some difficulty with my heart, so I went in for another EKG, but they said my heart was fine. It only leaves me with knowing that you must be going through something very difficult and painful. Since I don't see things visually the way you do, it leaves me guessing at what might be causing it. It honestly makes things much more difficult for me not knowing what's going on. If I know what it is, I can deal with it, but guessing just makes my imagination run wild, especially knowing what Diane went through.

It was all new to me when Diane went through it and I was unprepared for what I would see and experience. Now I know the things that occur and can handle them much better. I do hope you will eventually let me know how you're doing. I am continually praying for you and sending you as much energy as I can bear. It's left me in the bed most of the last several days, but I know that you can get through this. They caught yours earlier than they did Diane's.

Here's the story...

Love,

Cal

Through the Eyes of a Child

When I was about 5, I had a bamboo flute. I had almost forgotten about it. As I was looking at something totally unrelated to music, the thought of it popped into my mind.


I used to take the flute outside and play it all the time as I walked with the little girl next door hunting for caterpillars spinning their cocoons about to hatch into butterflies,



looking for Horny Toads,



looking for buttercups with which we could turn each others' noses yellow,



and all the other things a couple of young, adventurous children who were old in spirit might living right on Buffalo Bayou before the concrete might do. Sometimes I would play the flute as she combed my hair, dipping the comb in water each time before she ran the comb through my hair. Sometimes we would just walk along the edge of the bayou, hand in hand, talking. Sometimes, we'd just lay in the grass and look for shapes in the clouds.



These things seemed to bring us great pleasure in life. As I think on it, they brought me much greater pleasure than electronics and vehicles. We shared a love with one another that was both caring and carefree. Of course, when we were about 8, things started changing and I lost my flute. My mom finding it in a drawer with a roach in it, promptly threw it in the trash.


(Diane shortly before finding out she had cancer)

I didn't regain such a relationship until I met Diane, who, in spite of her intelligence and often critical nature, could see things with me through the eyes of a child. She was beautiful when we met and never seemed any less beautiful to me as she aged, in spite of the changes to her body. It took a few years of living together and working out our differences before we got there, but we got there and it was wonderful.

It takes more than just beauty, intelligence, and sexuality to stimulate me. It takes spiritual insight and the ability to see things through the eyes of a child. So many have forgotten how to do that these days. It seems like everyone is just after quick, thoughtless, self-gratification. Is there any wonder that so few truly know the meaning of love anymore?

Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Is With Us All,

Cal-el